Week 16: Life Happens... Under 200! (199.2)

It's been a little over a month since I wrote the last post in this blog. Life happens sometimes and projects like this get put to the side for a bit. In fact, life happens and weight loss plateaus for a bit. I chose my projected weight loss completion goal for next March for reasons such as this. I knew things would come up and a month would go by without any real change and that's okay. Most of our lives don't go straight up or down, there are variations along the way.

11 mile trail run on our anniversary

Over the last month, I have increased my weekly running mileage to about 25 on average. Also, I'm starting to incorporate a few days of incline walking on the treadmill since I plan on running in many mountain races in the future starting with the Gorge 50k next spring which has 6,000 feet of vertical gain over its 31 miles. Walking on the treadmill at an incline of 15, I'm only able to go at a 2.5mph pace consistently. No wonder I suck on steep hills! That's okay though, I'm getting such a kick out of knowing I can walk 1,000 feet of gain on the treadmill at anytime. Ultimately, I'd love to see my weekly elevation gain get up to 20,000 feet before my race at the Gorge. We shall see.

Post run coffee

I had lost some weight before my anniversary last weekend when I gained six pounds in two days. Megan and I kind of go full throttle: food, alcohol, staying up late, etc. You know, the usual. On a side note, I normally don't go hard on the alcohol as much as the food. I'd rather eat my calories than drink them. A doughnut instead of a beer? Um yes please! It was awesome though. We ate Indian food, pancakes, pizza, doughnuts, went to see Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes and spent the whole weekend together. 

Alex from ESMZ

 So I guess the blog is back. I think it is a good tool to hold me accountable. It's too easy to have life happen and a month goes by without remembering that I'm supposed to be losing weight. That's not to say that I haven't been active, but I haven't kept my weight loss goal as a high priority. Even though I have a vacation and a move coming up, I plan on resuming my weight loss path.  
 

Week 11: The problem with Michael Jordan... Down .6 (200.6)

Megan and JanMarie walking up the few hundred foot steep climb on our 8 mile trail run on Sunday.

When I was growing up, I had one predominant hero: Michael Jordan. He was perfectly manicured by marketing, he rarely lost and when he did, he had the perfect excuse: his dad died. That statement seems dark, but it's truly what I thought as a kid. He never would've lost if he didn't leave the NBA for a year. Being brought up in a mostly Caucasian, nice suburban area gave me many breaks above the rest of the world, but it didn't teach me two things:

This is what happens after I weigh-in on Wednesdays. They are high calorie days to keep my metabolism guessing. My calorie cycling is still working well. This is half an old-fashioned doughnut mixed with milk n' cookies ice cream. :)

1.  I never learned to persevere when I was uncomfortable. First and foremost, I know this is an arrogant and first-world country thing to bring up, so you don't have to roll your eyes at me. As a species, humans have been striving for thousands of years to be comfortable and some are still fighting for it. To have enough food. To have adequate shelter. To have filtered water. Well, I had no role in who my parents were and what country I was brought up in, so this is all I know. I never failed at anything and if I did, I was able to lie my way out of it. It's the teacher's fault! She's an idiot! I promise, my arguments were much more convincing than this, but I don't care to reenact them at this time. As soon as I'd reach an uncomfortable situation, I'd find a reason to leave. The reinforcement of these habits created the incredibly flaky creature whose words you're currently reading, but I'm starting to embrace the discomfort. Mostly this is coming as a result of reading the adventures of trail runners (Anton Krupicka, Jenn Shelton, etc.) and falling in love with one quote: "Comfort comes as a guest, lingers to be host and stays to enslave us." Gaining this weight gave me many times when I was uncomfortable and it has given me appreciation for the people who've lost 50 pounds and completely changed their lives. Maybe they're not on the covers of magazines, but they are heroes. This brings me to the second thing I never learned as a kid.

Cari and I at the aforementioned Ben and Jerry's. :)

2. I never appreciated 2nd place or 10th place for that matter. Maybe it's the media, my friends or a huge collage of things, but as a kid I never thought the person that finished in 2nd place worked as hard as the person who finished in 1st place. This is an American fallacy I've grown to uncover as I've gotten older. In America, the winner is celebrated and portrayed as the hardest worker. While this might be true in some cases, it's mostly not the norm. No amount of running in Texas as a child would've made me a better mountain runner than Kilian Jornet. The fact is, sometimes my best isn't as good as another person's best. That doesn't make me less of a person, it just means I'm not as talented as them in one thing, but most likely I'm more talented than them in some other respect. As a child I really failed to appreciate the greatness around me and I continued this up until just a few years ago when I met Ted Ricci. Ted Ricci is a trail runner in Texas who I met on a typical 10 mile Saturday trail run at Cedar Ridge Nature Preserve in Dallas. He was in incredible shape and we ran and talked for most of the run. He rarely finishes first at races, but at the age of 50ish, he runs hard and enjoys life even harder. Just like most of us, it's not about winning for him, it's about fulfillment. It's not about external motivation, it's about internal. He finds fulfillment in trail running and that's the inspiration. As this blog and experiment continue on, as a reader I encourage you to find your Ted Ricci. There's nothing wrong with admiring the elite of the elite, but I know I haven't drawn as much inspiration from them as I've drawn from my local heroes.

Sweaty selfie after a walking interval workout on Friday. The instability of the picture I think captures how I was feeling before going to the gym. It was one of those times when all I wanted to do was stay home, lie on the couch and watch television. I did the more uncomfortable thing which was to exercise and felt very accomplished afterwards.

Someone once told me to not become a public speaker until I was forty. He said you don't have enough wisdom until that point. Of course, we can't paint all of humanity with a big brush like this, but I find it true for myself. At age 34, I'm peeling away layers of marketing, technology programming and cultural imprinting to find what is true and real in the world. This, more than anything else, is my inspiration for losing this weight, maintaining a healthy weight and pursuing all that I can in life. There's nothing wrong with being overweight, but I do find it limiting when thinking about traveling to other lands, hiking up mountains and exploring many experiences in life.

The joy of good single track trail, mountain views and sunshine.

I only lost .6 pounds this week, but that's to be expected after such a huge loss last week. I will be under 200 pounds next week which is nice to think about. Yes, it's just a number, but there are certain numbers that become landmarks and living in the land of 100s will be a good refresher for my energy level and skeletal pain.
I'm including pictures this week but no exercise log or picture of my calories. There are ten weeks of calories and exercise logs previous to this which will point out my methodology, but from here on out I just want to write about life. Without the presence of certain conditions and diseases, my weight and appearance is a bi-product of how I feel about myself and what I've learned so far during my journey of life. I assume this is the case for you too. Your appearance won't change if you don't love yourself, you won't be able to climb that mountain unless you think you can and think you're worthy enough to and so on. I deserve to be happy and healthy and so do you no matter if you finish in first place or 200th.

Week 10: Education and Perseverance... Down 3.8 more pounds! That's 21.7 pounds total! (201.2)

Now that I'm in a groove, it's time to put my foot on the throat of this weight. I'm normally a very chill person but I'm extremely competitive and my competitiveness is helping a lot with this experiment. Almost every day I know what weight I want to be at the following day (which includes purposely gaining weight some days) and I don't go to sleep until I get there. Yes, that means that if I want to be 205 in the morning, I need to be 207 before I go to sleep and I don't go to sleep until I'm at that weight. People ask me a lot about what it takes to lose weight and I'd say it's nutrition education along with a fierce level of perseverance. Even a fierce level of perseverance won't help a killed metabolism from going on a starvation diet or "poverty macros" in the words of Dr. Layne Norton so that's why I think nutritional education has to be the first priority.

Starting off, the exercise was hard. I hadn't worked out seriously in months and it hurt but now that I'm feeling fairly normal again, it's time to put myself into a higher gear which I feel like I'm doing. I won my age group at a 5k again and I feel like my running performance is improving even being at this higher weight. With that being said, I can't wait to be fitter and faster.

The dorkiest pose I could make for my podium finish at the Tutu Run.

Sweaty Selfie after my stair workout. Stairs are hard. That is all. Jagged teeth are hot, right?

Jodi and Loni on our trail run. Beautiful day!

Megan and the ladies on our trail run.

Exercise Log:

Wednesday: 1.62 mile run with my NOBO running group. Over 13,000 steps.

Thursday: 3.35 mile trail run by myself. I set a PR on this particular trail which I'm happy about. Over 15,000 steps.

Friday: I did some extra walking, but it was an active rest day before the 5k. Over 12,000 steps.

Saturday: I ran a 5k with my friends. Over 14,000 steps.

Sunday: Body weight runner-specific strength training (side lying leg lifts, clams, single leg glute bridges, plank, rows and I'm sure some other stuff) for 30 minutes and 25 minutes of walking up and down stairs which was HARD. Over 12,000 steps.

Monday: 3.3 mile trail run with friends. It was a beautiful day! Over 16,000 steps.

Tuesday: 3 mile trail run by myself on a HARD trail. After my run, I cleaned our apartment. Over 19,000 steps.

I've been getting a big salad from the cafe next door every weekday for lunch and really enjoying them. It's around 600 calories and I have to eat it in two sessions because it's so big. It normally contains spinach, black beans, potatoes, corn, avocado, chicken, bacon and balsamic dressing.  

Average calories were 2,545 per day this week.

    

Week 9: Down 17.9 pounds! (205) and I signed up for a half marathon!

This has been a really good week for me. My calories have been on point and I've been incredibly calculated. I knew Mother's Day would bring some extra calories so I accounted for them, savored them and planned ahead. Therefore, my only goal on Mother's Day was not to intentionally overeat and I accomplished that. Then, I dropped my calories on Monday and Tuesday in order to compensate for the excess calories.

Running is getting easier! From Sunday, 5/1 through Saturday, 5/7 I ran 17.1 miles! My hip flexor is improving as I repeatedly stretch it. A stretch that I've been using religiously is a small variation of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mjBaLVlQWw
Super helpful!

I feel so good that I committed to running a half marathon in September with a friend of mine. I'm so excited! Also, I'm helping a friend of mine try to PR her next 5k which is this Saturday.

I'm a ham. Love running with this group!

One thing I like about running is that I always seem to be surrounded by pretty women. :)

Sweaty selfie after my nice run of solitude.

Another great run on the trails!

Exercise Log:

Wednesday: 2.46 miles running with No Boundaries 5k group. Felt good. Over 17,000 steps for the day.

Thursday: Running specific strength training which included singe leg glute bridges, body weight squats, side lying leg raises, clams, fire hydrants, rows, 30 second planks, ball leg curls and I think that's about it. :) I like breaking all of these exercises into two circuits performing each circuit three times without rest. Rep range 10-15. Over 13,000 steps for the day.

Friday: 2 mile trail run by myself. It was a self-reflective run as I listened to one of my favorite podcasts, "Tangentially Speaking." In this one, Christopher Ryan (the host) spoke about his friend (whose in the podcast) who had recently died. I love parenthesis. It was a very emotional podcast and therefore made for a self-reflective run. I love runs like this from time to time. The grass is always greener, the sun is always brighter and the flowers always have a more powerful aroma when thinking about life's brevity and what a great life I have. Here's a link to the podcast if you're interested: http://chrisryanphd.com/tangentially-speaking/   (It's #177) <- See, I used parenthesis again.  Over 12,000 steps for the day.

Saturday: 3.26 mile run in morning with NOBO in 5 to 1 minute intervals. 10:51 average pace. Felt like I had a lot more. 2.51 mile afternoon trail run with JM and Megan. 13:27 pace. Extremely comfortable pace. A total of 5.77 miles for the day! I'm so excited about this! Over 21,000 steps for the day.

Sunday: Mother's Day. Did body weight strength training same as described on Thursday. Got in 10,000 steps but that's about it.

Monday: 2.17 mile interval run with my friend Nick. It was a slower pace and felt very comfortable but felt good. Over 13,000 steps.

Tuesday: 3.35 mile run on trail. It felt great, beautiful day (70s, sunny, breezy). Over 14,000 steps for the day. 

I had this meal twice this week at the Co-op that is no less than 100 yards from my apartment. A strip of bacon covers a serving of huevos rancheros and half a biscuit with sausage gravy. Note, I pick the smallest bowl they have available to help with portion size. This bowl isn't more than 4 inches in diameter (probably less). Oh my god this is so good!

Nutrition: Again, I aim for controlled chaos and hit it on the mark again. :)

Calories went up but so did my exercise. 

I want 20 pounds total loss by next week!!! That's the goal. That would be 202.9.

Week 8: Down 15.1 pounds! (207.8) Hatebreed and weight loss?

As a great lyricist once said (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwI1zkBNGa8),
"Perseverance
Against all opposition
Crushing all limitations
Pure strength through solitude
Discipline and determination"

The Hardrock 100. Talk about perseverance. I'd love to do this race some day. 

This week was about perseverance. I wrote a few days ago (http://brandonfitwin.blogspot.com/2016/05/day-54-anxiety-and-weight-gain.html) about the anxiety attacks I'd been having and to see the scale at a loss today is a sign of how I've learned to persevere over time. My childhood was really cushy which is a real arrogant, snotty-nosed kid thing to say, but it's true. In my hometown, we were soft. We weren't raised to overcome failure because failure was looked at as being negative. As I approached my early twenties, with nothing to really show for it, I realized this can't be the way to approach life. It still took me until a few years ago to really put my finger on it. As someone once said,
"Comfort comes as a guest,
lingers to become the host,
and stays to enslave us."

Losing this fifty pounds will require some discomfort. Running 100 miles will require some discomfort. Learning new skills will require some discomfort. These are all things I want to do. Since I'm in a quote-y mood, let me add one more:
"I'd rather be dead than average."

I don't live my life with the hope of being the most middle-class, average dude out there. I'm not wired that way. I did this experiment to see how myself and people like me deal with the obstacles that come with trying to lose a significant amount of weight and so much of it comes down to putting your head down and pushing forward despite the fact that sometimes it feels like you're pushing a wall. I'm glad I've learned to embrace pain (tattoos, running) and discomfort because it's helping me to lose the weight and to tell others that achieving a difficult goal can be done, but it's going to be ugly sometimes.   

Behind me is the trail I ran hill sprints on. It was a beautiful day!

 

Exercise Log:

Wednesday: Lots of walking and stretching. I have a tendency to take these weigh-in days off from any vigorous exercise. Over 15,000 steps for the day.

Thursday: I did 2 miles on the treadmill with no real specific plan. I did .12 intervals mixing up between light jogging and incline walking then transitioned into running and walking intervals. Sometimes it's nice to just get a workout in without too much structure. 2.1 miles in 31:37 including warm up and cool down. Over 13,000 steps for the day.

Friday: Walked a lot. Over 10,000 steps for the day.

Saturday: Walked over 13,000 steps and cleaned and rearranged the apartment.

Sunday: 1.5 mile trail run in 20 minutes. Felt good, decent pace. Walked around at the Boise Parade of Homes. Over 15,000 steps for the day.

Monday: Evening 3 mile run with NOBO training group in intervals. I think with the intervals of walking and running, the overall pace was 13:30. It felt good and I love being around those ladies and gentlemen. Over 15,000 steps for the day.

Tuesday:
- 2 mile trail run in the morning with Megan at 11:00 pace. Could've pushed it harder but our initial goal was 24 minutes and we actually slowed down once we realized we'd accomplish that with no problem. It was 50 degrees, clear with a slight breeze. PERFECT RUNNING WEATHER.
- In the evening, I did a runner-specific body weight workout with consisted of side lying leg raises, clams, single leg glute bridges, plank, stability ball leg curls, stability ball back extensions, bird dogs and body weight squats.
- Lastly, I did three hill sprints. The distance was .125 and it was elevation increase of 200 feet. I did each one in 57 seconds (7:34 pace). It felt good but I needed a 3 minute rest after each sprint.
Over 15,000 steps for the day. 

I'm going to stop posting the "approximate total exercise time" because I don't really know what it means. :)

Baked tofu and roasted red pepper hummus tacos. Mmmmm.

I ran out of kale so this is what my kale-less shake looks like. One apple, a handful of baby carrots and three stalks of celery.

Nutrition: Again, my nutrition was all over the place this week, but that's how I roll. I am eating more plant-based meals now as a way to mix things up. My calories were right about the same average as last week's. 

My calories were a bit chaotic but I still averaged my usual 2,500 average. As you can see, Sunday was really crazy, so I evened it out by dropping significantly on Monday.

Down 15, 35 to go.

Day 54: Anxiety and Weight Gain

I didn't want to post this, but I think it's important for others to see. This week has brought a lot of uncertainty for Megan and I. I don't deal well with uncertainty because I have anxiety and depression issues. Through meditation and exercise, I've learned to cope pretty well with them, but sometimes they sneak up on me like ninjas. I'm the coach who wrote the Stress Management challenge, but that doesn't mean that every day or week is perfect. I had my first (of two) real anxiety attacks this week. If you think anxiety attacks aren't real, which I did for a while, try having one yourself. I thought I was having a stroke. I went to bed with a lot on my mind, then got up frightened. Half of my body was tingling, my vision was blurred and I couldn't focus on anything. In fact, I had Megan look up signs and symptoms of a stroke and she did some tests on me to determine that I wasn't having one. I was having an anxiety attack. In fact, I'm struggling with having one right now because just writing about this makes me anxious, but I know this post is important so I'll push forward. Yes, I'm having anxiety problems while sitting at my desk next to my health coaching co-workers. It seems ironic, doesn't it? Listen, it happens to more people than you'd think. In fact, I'd wager that most of the people you perceive to be extroverts in your social circle have anxiety or depression issues. So how does this relate to my weight gain and loss experiment? I've gained weight this week. About three pounds to be exact. Now, I'm a pure endomorph so I can realistically lose this weight again before my next weigh in, but it puts in perspective that not everything is about the number on the scale. There are going to be weeks in life where more important things will come up you'll have to deal with and the scale will take a back seat. The main thing is understanding what your particular obstacles are and working to get better at overcoming them. If emotional eating and binging are real for you, know that overcoming those things is probably best done by taking small steps. Through this experiment, I'm starting to remember eating tons and tons of food as an emotional teenager but I don't do that now. Even a week riddled with two anxiety attacks doesn't mean binging on a ton of food. I have gained a little weight this week as a result of not focusing on my eating and exercise habits, but my habits are much more controlled. This, like many big changes, took time for me. Through learning breathing exercises, taking walks, writing and asking myself questions about my future self, the chaos in my life is much more controlled. It's still chaos but it's controlled chaos.

I don't know who will read this and honestly I'm really nervous about my workmates reading it, but I think someone out there needs to see this today. Whoever you are, you're not alone and the healthiest and happiest version of you involves much bigger things than the scale. We all deserve to be the best versions of ourselves and unfortunately that takes more work for some of us. Start small, practice positive habits and give yourself a break on bad days.    

Week 7: 14.7 pounds down!

I was greeted by the scale reading 208.2 this morning! I'm almost 15 pounds down at this point and am starting to feel amazing! I've noticed that I've developed an odd habit of constantly feeling my stomach because I can tell it's getting smaller. This week was filled with a lot of diversity. I went to the physical therapist to get work done on my hip flexors, my wife's birthday was on Sunday and I've committed to running a few races over the next year. With that being said, again this week I find myself all over the place. I repeatedly point out that this blog should not be viewed as a "how to lose 50 pounds" instruction manual, but instead should be viewed as a "how to stay consistent when life happens" manual. That's what all of this is about. Consistency.

Smoothie, cheese and bacon (microwaved bacon at that) for breakfast. Yummy! I don't take many pictures of what I eat, but I like to show a little of how I'm achieving weight loss success. I thrive on simplicity. Feel free to view my food diary on My Fitness Pal. My username is brandonfitwin. 

The lovely wife on her birthday. What's not in this picture is the biscuits and gravy we ate. Mmm.

Mmmmm kale. I love it in a smoothie.

Side shot of the smoothie before the blender dismantles it. From bottom to top it's one apple, a handful of baby carrots, three celery stalks and a handful of kale. 

Again, simple things to eat. Smoothie, bacon and beef. Simplicity is key to my weight loss.

 Exercise Log:

Wednesday: I cannot remember for the life of me.

Thursday: Lots of stretching. 10,000 steps.

Friday: 2.19 mile trail run by myself in 26:18 (12:01 pace). I made sure to warm up before and stretch afterwards in order to take care of my hip flexors. It felt great!

Saturday: I hiked with two different groups in the morning and had 10,000 steps by noon. In the evening, I did some strength training which consisted of 3 rounds of squat to press and back extension super sets for 1 minute each with no rest in between. Then I did a super set of rear cable flyes to ball leg curls 10 reps a piece with no rest. Lastly, I did super sets of incline walking (3.3mph/incline 10) for 2 minutes into 30 seconds of plank with no rest in between. Ended the day with over 20,000 steps. :)

Sunday: Megan's birthday. Ate a lot. :) I mean, that works my jaw muscles, so that counts right?

Monday: 1.56 run in intervals with the NOBO group. The intervals were 4 minutes running to 2 minutes walking. Average pace was 12:54, so total time was 20:08. Then I went to the gym with Megan to spot her for her bench press and I did 3 rounds of 2 minute incline walking (3.3mph/incline 10) into 10 reps of single leg bridge on my right side, then a 30 second plank. No rest in between. Finished with over 15,000 steps.

Tuesday: 3.31 mile trail run with Jan Marie and Jodi. It was a slow pace as I waited for them at trail heads, but everything felt really good. I warmed up and stretched afterwards like a good boy. Or like an aging guy who's scared of not being able to run again.Finished the day with over 16,000 steps.

Approximate Total Exercise Time:  220 minutes? 7.06 miles run this week. Yay! I'm so happy to be running again! My goal this coming week is to run 8-10 miles.

The weekend was off but everything still looked good.