Day 44: No more fast food?

After laying on the couch for no less than three hours yesterday evening, I figured it was time to stop eating junk food for a while. I shouldn't be too hard on myself because I am nursing some tender hip flexors on my left side, but come on... I'm a health coach and I spent my evening laying down watching Family Guy and playoff hockey for three hours? So much of this still comes down to expectations and having a plan. Throughout this journey I've learned that for me, a lack of structure breeds self destruction. I'm a bad balance of all in and all out which makes experiments like this tricky, but creates tons of empathy for those like me just starting their weight loss journeys. It's a bitter pill to swallow when you know you've made great progress by losing 10 pounds but you still have 40 to go. Maybe I felt like I needed to stop and rest for a few days before the next push. Losing 50 pounds feels like climbing up a steep mountain. The trail is 6 miles long with 3,500 feet of climbing and needs to broken down into little pieces. Well, I'm a fifth of the way to the top, let me stop and get my breath for a minute. Okay, now I'm ready to make it to that next goal which will be 202 pounds (or 20 total pounds lost.)   

Breakfast chorizo burrito.

Yesterday I ate a chorizo burrito for breakfast, pizza for lunch and early dinner, a brownie for a snack and half a cheeseburger and fries from McDonald's for my late dinner. After eating junk food for a few days now, I can honestly say I'm done for a while. I looked at my McDonald's food last night, ate a bit of it and threw it away (sorry to the starving kids in Africa). My mind and body are disgusted with it. While I haven't gained any weight, I haven't lost any and I feel like I'm not investing enough time and effort into my health which is translating into more day fatigue and a lack of desire to exercise. Again, all in or all out. It's a dangerous mindset, but I appear to be wired this way. I plan on going for a trail run and hike today to see how the hip flexors are holding up. I WILL warm up before hand and I WILL stretch afterwards. Hopefully my right glutes will activate more since I've been working with them every moment I can whether that's squeezing them right now as I write this blog or as I take each step up the stairs in our office building.

Pizza from Pie Hole in downtown Boise. Taste was great, but the feeling in my gut was not.

Cookie dough brownie. Again, taste was great but the feeling was blah.

Something happened yesterday that instantly created a blanket of quiet among my co-workers and myself. We found out Prince died. The great musician died at age 57. The initial rumors are that he was struggling with a bad flu, wouldn't cancel shows and obligations to recover and it progressively got worse and killed him. To some this might be sad and truly his death is sad but I don't think the method is. He went out of this world doing what he loved to do. He went out being himself and to people like me, that's inspirational. 

This is how much I ate of my McDonald's meal before throwing it away.

Most publishers or editors want there to be a "take-away" at the end of each book or post, so I'll oblige with this statement: I know who I am. I'm all in or all out. While this may not be the healthiest thing mentally, it's me. I'd rather die at 50 having lived a full life than die at 100 having lived a mediocre life. How will this translate to my eating and fitness? I'm going to be the guy at work that stretches every hour, the guy that does chin tucks while his boss is talking to him, the guy that warms up longer than everyone else, stretches longer than everyone else (well, within reason) and the guy that will lose this weight, create a fit body and go on to do amazing things. That's me. That's what I want. "I'd rather be dead than average."